Just when you thought it was safe...

...to go outside, the rain and the wind started.  AGAIN.

It was a long night of howling (the cats-- as well as the wind), and the sound of torrential downpour on the roof of this old heap we live in.

But, we've certainly fared FAR better than our neighbours to the south of The Border.  This "super storm" was NOTHING compared to what the good folks of the Eastern United States were dealt last night, and are still dealing with this morning.

Still, I look outside and see beautiful old trees that have come crashing down around my pond, toppled over right from the roots.  Confused, hysterical birds (who should definitely have started heading south ages ago) are twittering around my leaning tower of a birdfeeder, presumably exchanging their own disastrous news.

Only my statue of St Francis, whom we affectionately call "Frank", stands tall and calm in the centre of my garden, smirking beatifically and gesturing with one hand, as if to say, "For Pete's sake, just calm down, you lot...  this was NOTHING."

Yep, no plagues of locusts or torrents of toads (yet), so I consider us very, very lucky.

Still, I'm taking the day off today, due to power outages, general ickiness and malaise.  School kids and indoor recesses just do not mix well, and all that pent up energy, topped with the anticipation of Hallowe'en hijinks tomorrow, might just be the death of me.

I'm staying home to make soup, instead.

This recipe comes from one of my dearest friends, a born and bred Prairie Girl.  If anybody knows about weather and survival, it's her-- she's got one of the warmest hearts I know.

Potato, Bacon and Cheddar Soup for a Blustery Day

I swear, if Winnie-the-Pooh had known about this stuff, he'd have kicked his hunny habit easily.  Minus the bacon, however, for poor old Piglet's sake...

2 tbsp butter

1 onion (minced)

2 cloves of garlic (chopped very finely or pressed)

5 medium Yukon Gold potatoes, peeled and diced

2 c chicken stock, plus perhaps a little more if the soup seems too thick

1/4 tsp dried thyme

2 tsp freshly ground black pepper

2 c milk (I use 1%, but homogenized is definitely best)

salt to taste

About 10 rashers of good bacon

1 c old cheddar cheese, shredded (at the very least...  more, if you like)

2 tbsp chopped parsley

Melt the butter in a large soup pot, and add the onion.  Cook the onion slowly over low heat, until translucent.  Then, add the garlic and stir to combine the flavours.

Add the chicken stock, and once the mixture comes to a boil, add the diced potatoes and thyme.  Cover the pot, reduce the heat and simmer slowly, until the potatoes are very tender.

While the potatoes are cooking, fry up the bacon rashers in a frying pan.  Cook until very crispy (at least, that's the way I like it), and then place the bacon on a plate covered in paper towel, to absorb the excess fat.    Once the bacon is cool, take a large knife and chop it into small pieces.  Throw the pieces into the soup pot to simmer with the potatoes.

Once the potatoes are cooked, take a potato masher and squash those suckers up.  For those who prefer their soup more finely pureed, use a mixer or food processor to blizz out the lumps.  We like our soup to have a bit more texture than that-- especially the bacon pieces, which release a nice burst of flavour when you get a bite of one!

Add the 2 c of milk very slowly, to avoid curdling.  Heat the soup through, stirring constantly.  Once heated, add the shredded cheese, and continue stirring until all the ingredients are nicely combined.  Now is the time to give it a taste, and adjust the seasoning with salt and pepper.  Add a bit more chicken stock if the soup seems too thick to you.

Ladle the soup into great big bowls, sprinkle with parsley, and share with the people you love best.

Everyone knows it's WINDY.

Hurricane Sandy...  heading our way...

Wise advice for today from comedian Ron White:

"There was a guy down in Florida who said that, at the age of 53 years old, he was in good enough physical condition to withstand the wind, rain and hail of a force-3 hurricane.  

Now, let me explain something to you:  

It isn't THAT the wind is blowing...  

It's WHAT the wind is blowing.

If you get hit by a Volvo...

 it doesn't matter how many sit-ups you did that morning."

If only it were so...

...I might just be able to watch tonight.

Right here behind you, Mr. Obama...  With you every step of the way.

Motherlove.

 

Yesterday, I was teaching a delightful group of brand-new grade three students. 

We had a rollicking good time, in spite of the weather (which was awful), and all of the cooped-up indoor-time that it necessitated.  If there's one thing I've learned, it's that ALL kids-- especially the ones who have only been trapped in school and told to sit-down-and-be-quiet for a scant two weeks-- need regular opportunities to get up and get their sillies out.  Preferably, outside in the fresh air.

We read books.  We picked out characters, settings, problems and solutions.  We made predictions and connections.  We took turns writing on the whiteboard. 

We talked about gravity, and how we need it to keep the food on our plates, so that peas and rice and chicken fingers don't go flying up in the air all around us.  One kid even asked the Famous Question:  "How do astronauts go to the bathroom?", which threatened to start us off on a WHOLE other tangeant...

At the end of the day, we did hard math.  I searched for and dragged out every manipulative I could get my hands on, to help those kids visualize and understand the concept of Growing Patterns.  WHY this unit is introduced to little ones right smack at the beginning of the year, before we've even had a chance to review Whole Numbers, is beyond me.

But, somehow, we managed.

I signed agendas, instructed them to "Read for twenty minutes tonight!!", and sent them on their merry way at three o'clock.

I was kneeling on the floor, tidying up the last of the coloured wooden shapes that had been liberally passed around during our last period, when one of my more "restless" boys came bursting back into the room, backpack flying.  He tore over to his desk, and proceeded to empty half of its contents onto the floor.

I straightened up, and went over to lend a hand, wondering what on earth he was up to.

Me:  (scooping two books and a pack of Spiderman trading cards up off the floor)  What's up?  Aren't you supposed to be getting on your bus?

Him:  (slightly frantic)  I forgot my math books!!  My mum says I have to bring my text book and my note book home EVERY NIGHT this year.

Me:  Your mum sounds like my kind of lady.  She must really love you.

That dear, sweet boy looked up at me and grinned hugely.

Him:  Nah.  She just thinks I watch too much Spongebob.

I roared with laughter, helped him on with his backpack, and put my arm around his shoulders as we walked out towards the bus loop.

Ah, my little friend...  Your mum loves you more than you will ever, ever know.

O, happy day!!

"We are the music makers,

and we are the dreamers of dreams."

--Roald Dahl

Endure.

 

"Endure, and keep yourself for days of happiness."

 

--Virgil, The Aeneid, Book 1

It's been eleven years today.

The anniversary is painfully easy for me to remember-- I simply have to recall my second child's age.

My baby was only a few months old on that shattered morning-- a morning that, for me, started out as any other. 

Rose at dawn with the teeny tiny siren that was my "starving!!" infant daughter, and then hustled my eldest girl off to another day in kindergarten.

Once children were ensconced in school, my next-door-neighbour and I pointed our strollers towards the trail that winds around the pond.  After two kilometers (that baby weight was hard-pressed to melt, I'll tell you), we headed over to our neighbourhood coffee shop.  The littles were fast asleep, wrapped up in cosy blankets, and it seemed as good a time as any to take a rest, ourselves, before continuing the daily routine.

As we eased ourselves into our chairs and wrapped our hands around a couple of mugs of strong decaf, a stranger burst through the door, took three steps into the shop, and changed the world.

"A plane just flew into the World Trade Centre."

That was all he said, before turning and leaving.

You could have heard a pin drop. 

Back home, I began the surreal experience of watching sheer horror unfold, live in front of me on my television screen.

How could it be possible to bear witness the deaths of so many thousands of people-- REAL people-- right in front of my eyes? 

People just like me.  Just like my family.

Like any other parent, that day I wondered what on earth I had done, bringing my innocent children into a world full of such horror and danger and sadness...  How I could have been so selfish...  so naive as to think that I could possibly keep them safe.

But, as New Yorkers and many, many more hundreds of thousands of people around the world proved after the disaster, through their acts of sympathy, generosity and peace:

Together, we're better than all that.

Evil, sadly, has its place-- but it must not define what we believe our world to be.

Instead, we must rise up in the face of that which we abhor, and show the very best of ourselves.

In so doing, we realize what we're made of...  we find out just how much we can endure.

Ubi Caritas

arranged by John Rutter, with The Cambridge Singers

UBI caritas et amor, Deus ibi est.

Congregavit nos in unum Christi amor.

Exultemus, et in ipso iucundemur.

Timeamus, et amemus Deum vivum.

Et ex corde diligamus nos sincero.
 

WHERE charity and love are, God is there.
Christ's love has gathered us into one.

Let us rejoice and be pleased in Him.

Let us fear, and let us love the living God.

And may we love each other with a sincere heart.

UBI caritas et amor, Deus ibi est.

Simul ergo cum in unum congregamur:

Ne nos mente dividamur, caveamus.

Cessent iurgia maligna, cessent lites.

Et in medio nostri sit Christus Deus.

WHERE charity and love are, God is there.

As we are gathered into one body,

Beware, lest we be divided in mind.

Let evil impulses stop, let controversy cease,

And may Christ our God be in our midst.

UBI caritas et amor, Deus ibi est.

Simul quoque cum beatis videamus,

Glorianter vultum tuum, Christe Deus:

Gaudium quod est immensum, atque probum,

Saecula per infinita saeculorum. Amen.

WHERE charity and love are, God is there.

And may we with the saints also,

See Thy face in glory, O Christ our God:

The joy that is immense and good,

Unto the ages through infinite ages. Amen.

Words to live and die by.

 

This week, I've actually had TIME.

Time to myself, that is-- with everyone else out of the house, and my full-time work not yet begun, I've actually had moments where I have had the conscious thought, "What should I do?"

Well, time-vampire that it is, I inevitably wind up on Youtube.

I love Youtube.  You can type anything-- ANYTHING-- into that search engine, and learn something.

More often than not, I learn that some things simply should NOT be posted on Youtube, and the incredible capacity the human race has for stupidity.

But sometimes-- sometimes, there's a gem.

I have learned new knitting stitches from someone who calls herself "The Knit Witch".  I still won't face the Kitchener Stitch without her gentle guidance.

I've learned the art of re-upholstery.  I kid you not.  I decimated and re-covered a couch in my basement last year, after discovering that it was simply too heavy to lift, and too large to fit up the stairs so I could throw it out.

Following a small pipe explosion in my children's bathroom late one night, my eldest discovered me sitting in the tub (fully clothed), laptop in one hand and a large wrench in the other, trying to teach myself emergency plumbing.  Incidentally, that little escapade was slightly less successful than the re-uphostery, and I wound up having to call a plumber in the morning...  but, at least it gave me something to do all night.

The girlies and I have learned to weave bracelets, to cook amazing desserts, and to do hard math, amongst a million other things.

And then, there's "people" searches.

I love searching up great musicians, great actors, and great comedians.

Most of all, I love searching my childhood.

Today, I looked up one of my absolute favourite people; one of my heroes.

Jim Henson was the creator of The Muppets, and founding father of all the delightful insanity that surrounded them.  He was goofy, but no goof-- through his life's work, he brought to the world much love, uproarious laughter, and later, through the early years of Sesame Street, learning. 

I often wonder what the people on my list of The Great Ones of Children's Programming:  namely, Jim Henson, Bob Keeshan, Ernie Coombs and Fred Rogers, would think of "educational television" today.  As tragic as it was to loose these men, I am grateful that none of them lived to see what my students watch at home.  The dumbing-down of popular entertainment is one of this generation's great tragedies, in my opinion.

Jim Henson left us far too soon, at the age of only fifty-three, in 1990.  He waited to treat what turned out to be "galloping pneumonia" for three days, and by the time he reached hospital, the illness was far too advanced to be cured.

The gaping hole that he left in our world can still be felt...  I feel it, every time I hear a little green voice that isn't the "real" Kermit...  and, every time I hear the one that is.  Which is often, actually-- The Muppets are still my favourite, and I play old episodes and albums over and over.

They still make me laugh.

Yesterday, I found Jim Henson's memorial service on Youtube, and I watched every, single minute of it.  The best bit, of course, came from Jim. 

His last words, read by his friend and colleague Richard Hunt. 

They are words to live by, and to die by:

 

Jim did not cling to the past, he did not worry about the future,
that would work itself out.

And he did not live for the moment, instead he lived in the moment.

Because that’s all we really have.

 

It’s important that we all stop giving ourselves such a hard time.

We’ve got to remind ourselves and push ourselves to let go.

Not much we can do except to be and in being to become aware.

See what’s going around all the time and allow it to happen,
all the sadness, all the joy.

And that’s why Jim’s last words are most important.

 

Please watch out for each other he says

Love everyone.

Forgive everyone including yourself.

Forgive your anger, forgive your guilt, your shame, your sadness.

Embrace and open up your love, your joy, your truth and most especially your heart.

 

Let us all have mercy on each and every one of us.

And every day, we will open up like a cocoon

and turn into beautiful butterflies

and live this moment,

and the next, and the next, and the next …..

 

 

Someday, when it's my own turn to go, I hope my memorial service will sound a lot like this:



Falling.

 

School is back in, and my part of the world is slowly but surely tilting away from the sun.

I have always dreaded fall, right from the earliest parts of childhood that I can remember. 

In spite of the intense beauty that I see all around me-- the brilliant colours of the changing leaves, the sharper angle of the light in the early evenings, the ducks and geese streaking noisily across the sky, pointing their beaks firmly south-- I carry a dull ache in my stomach every waking minute of my day.

I guess it stems back to childhood, and the sheer dread I felt, going back to school.  Then, it was the overwhelming anxiety of scrambling through university.  Now, I'm a TEACHER, for crying out loud, and I feel as guilty about trapping little people indoors all day after a summer of running wild and free, as I feel about sending my own babies to their new classrooms and into the care of strangers.

I know, I know.  I could deal with this-- SHOULD probably try to deal with this-- by changing my attitude.  Cognitive behavioural therapy, and all that. 

I've tried.

It's the darkening of light.  It's the whiff of freshly sharpened pencils and the coarse stiffness of brand new jeans.  It's the alarm clocks, the sandwich meat, the chrysanthemums instead of roses. 

It's the emptiness I feel when my children sprint from my arms and into the school playground.  It's the distance-- not just physical, but emotional distance-- between my girls and me at this time of year.  I know it's necessary-- they're growing up, and we all need to live our own little lives.

But it takes time for me to get used to it all. 

Every, single year.

Do you remember...

 

This amazingly talented and beautiful man?

Freddie Mercury and Queen were a huge part of my adolescence.  I was left simply gobsmacked by Freddie's "appearance" at the closing ceremonies of the 2012 Olympics in London this summer-- which took place in the very arena where his most spectacular live performances had occurred.

This past weekend, my sister and her boys came to stay.  We all have a legendary hatred for Labour Day: the final few precious hours before the school year ramps up again for us all (both sis and her husband are teachers, too...)

One night, while we were cleaning up the aftermath of another "kid-friendly" (read:  MESSY) meal, we chatted about her family's recent trip to London, and all they had seen and heard when they attended Olympic events.  It sounded so wonderful to have been part of the crowds; a witness to the "magic" that manifests itself at such world-wide events.  She hadn't seen the entirety of the closing ceremonies, however-- after running after little boys all day, it was impossible for her to stay up waaay past midnight, goggling at The Box, no matter how incredible the talent was!

So, we dialled up my favourite moment on Youtube, which led to another video, and another... 

Finally, we came across this recording from one of the pinnacles of our youth:  the 1985 LiveAid Concert.

That's 72,000 people out there in the audience, all singing and swaying, clapping and cheering...  I can assure you, we were all feeling just as "connected" to Freddie Mercury through our old-fashioned radios and tv sets as we danced around our living rooms at home, all over the world.

It was nothing short of astounding.

Queen's set has been called the greatest live performance in the history of rock music. 

You get no argument from yours truly.

Ready, Freddie.

 

I just wish you could have stayed with us longer.

Little do they know...

...that teachers feel exactly the same way.

The New Points System

 

 

Tonight, I was at Dairy Queen, at right around suppertime.

What??! 

I'm the exhausted mother of three, and we're all sweltering through the last days of summer, simultaneously sweating the anxiety of returning to school.

Where else would I be?

(Besides the liquor store.)

I sidled up to the counter, where the owner was waiting, looking not unlike a lioness who has hypnotized her prey.

As I emerged from where my children and I had converged in a huddle to make our final menu selections, she picked up a little pamphlet, and made beckoning gestures. I swear to God, for a brief, shining moment, I could hear the angels singing.

"I have something here you're going to LOVE," she said, "It's the NEW POINTS SYSTEM."

I shuddered inwardly.  To someone who's been on (an admittedly, somewhat lax) health-kick all summer, the idea of counting points relating to cheez-laden hamburgers and chocolate-coated ice cream was nothing short of horrifying.

"Look!" she cooed, convincingly, "Every time you eat here, you can earn points!  Those points add up, and we'll e-mail you coupons for MORE FOOD!  Sometimes, FREE FOOD!  Two-for-one deals!!  Isn't that GREAT?!"

Holy Hannah.

My Points would add up to FREE ice cream?!  And I didn't even have to do all the adding MYSELF?!!

Are you KIDDING ME?!

"Sign.  Me.  Up." I croaked, sounding not-unlike a cross between Darth Vader and Satan (who, I am sure, was possessing my diet-addled brain at the time).

Dear Weight Watchers,

I'm sorry, what else can I say?  It's not you, it's me.

As it turns out, starving doesn't do much for my math skills, which were no great shakes to begin with, I'm afraid.  Constantly adding up  WW points all day (and, truth be told, sometimes in the middle of the night) just didn't work for me.  No matter how hard I tried to tot up the sums, I just couldn't make them add up to 18.  Hell, I couldn't even fudge the answer properly.  (Mmmm...  fudge...)

I confess, I have been seeing someone else behind your back, whom I shall simply identify as "D.Q." for the purpose of preserving our privacy.  This is someone who understand my (chocolate) needs, and emotional (stomach) fulfillment. 

Again, I'm sorry.  I just can't be with two systems at the same time.  I only wish there were more of me to go around... 

 

Although, I have a feeling that very soon their might be.

xoxo CGF

Points!!!!

Out of the mouths of babes...

...cometh truth.

Yesterday, upon hearing the radio news headline that Toronto's "infamous" mayor had been caught reading while driving his car, a small voice piped up from the back seat of my loser cruiser:

"He was probably just looking at the pictures."

Indeed. 

Federer may be "better-er"...

...but Andy is BEST!!

Woo-hooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!

A spot of tea?

Today, after a long, hot slog pulling weeds and pruning in the garden, I was so desperately over-heated that I marched down the stairs to the pool, and jumped in with all my clothes on. 

Refreshing, I thought, as I floated to the surface and watched dirt and tiny pieces of leaves drift from my overalls towards the skimmer...  But, the plunge didn't nearly take care of the dehydration I felt.

I squelched up to the house, wrapped a towel around myself when I reached the mud room, and dripped along the hall to the kitchen. 

The interior was a perfect display of utter chaos, with dirty dishes stacked beside the sink, while clean dishes languished in the dishwasher.  My eldest was in the process of concocting a batch of cookies, and a light dusting of flour and cocoa powder coated every surface.   As all the countertops were clearly in use, the younger two offspring were icking up the kitchen table with what can only be described as a modeling clay factory.

I glared at my children, then spotted a pitcher on the counter near the sink:  the iced tea must have been just made, as there was a beading of condensation forming on the plastic jug's exterior.

I grabbed a clean cup from the cupboard, and poured myself a large glass, while gazing out at the tidy garden outside my kitchen windows. 

Yes, the inside of the house may look like a midden, but at least the outside was back in some semblance of order. 

As I had these self-congratulatory thoughts, I took a huge swig, and swallowed twice before the taste hit me.

"JESUS, MARY AND JOSEPH..." I gasped and gagged at the same time.  "WHO MADE UP THAT TEA???  It tastes like BOG WATER."

"NOT ME!!!"  screeched Wee Three, before I'd even finished emitting the first expletive.  (This has become her main defence-mechanism-of-choice these days, as it's just easier to deny everything  than to explain anything.)

"It wasn't ME," stated Child Number Two as she slorped another handful of liquid sludge onto her sculpture, in an attempt to make the situation even more sticky, "I don't even LIKE iced tea."

"Well, it certainly wasn't ME," stated my eldest, obviously assuming that she didn't need to add any more detail to the discussion.  She HAS, after all, attended courses at the Stratford Chef School, and her skills are far too developed for such an amateur catastrophe.

"It had to be SOMEBODY," I bellowed, as I made for the liquor cabinet, and began mixing myself a fortifying gin and tonic, "Why else would it be sitting there on the counter???!"

On the counter...  by the pile of dirty dishes...  that had accumulated during my sojourn in the garden...

My stomach turned again, as I investigated the contents of the pitcher.

Dirty dishwater, with a used j-cloth thrown in for "steeping".

BLEAH.

NEW RULE, PEOPLE...  Dirty dishes left on the counter will result in a monetary fine of $5 per item.

And from now on, mummy drinks only alcoholic beverages.

What SHOULD have been said tonight.

The centre of the London Olympic Cauldron, 2012

This royal throne of kings, this scepter'd isle,

This earth of majesty, this seat of Mars,

This other Eden, demi-paradise,

This fortress built by Nature for herself

Against infection and the hand of war,

This happy breed of men, this little world,

This precious stone set in the silver sea,

Which serves it in the office of a wall,

Or as a moat defensive to a house,

Against the envy of less happier lands,

This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England...

King Richard II, 2.1

by William Shakespeare

Fancy footwork.

Shoes.

If you are a female reading this blog, it is highly likely that the very sight of this word has struck a chord in your heart, and a thrill has erupted in your brain and run down your spine.

If you are my mother reading this, the immediate reaction is a certainty.

It is therefore considered to be somewhat unusual that the mention of fine footwear does not elicit a similar response from Yours Truly.  Heck, if the majority of females in the world display a specific addictive/hoarding behaviour, one would think it would almost certainly be genetic.

Well, I guess I was standing behind the door when God was passing out this one.

I'm actually quite grateful, in a way...  While I can't deny that I occasionally covet my mother's vast shoe collection (and curse the fact that her dainty feet are about two-and-a-half sizes smaller than my Hobbit-like appendages...  dammit), without a doubt, I have saved myself a heck of a lot of money.

(Which I spend on yarn.  But, that is another issue altogether.)

Summertime is one of my favourite times of year.  One of the main reasons why I love the warm weather so much is that I can dispense of shoes and socks entirely, and run barefoot through my house and garden.  Yes, the habit occasionally makes the floors messy, in spite of all the prickly sisal mats I have placed in front of the doors...  And yes, my feet require soaking, scrubbing and a good deal of moisturizing at the end of every day.

But to me, nothing beats the feel of bare-foot-freedom, and grass-between-the-toes.

Traction, baby...

When I was a stay-at-home mum, the only pre-requisite I had for footwear was TRACTION.  The shoes I wore had to stand up to chasing after kids, and enable me to CATCH the little boogers before they flew in front of a moving vehicle, out a window, or into the deep end of a swimming pool.  Indoors, I discovered the joy of hot-pink crocs.  Outdoors, I had sturdy leather slip-ons with seriously treaded rubber soles.

By order of the Doc..

I discovered the hard way that nothing dictates what you put on your feet more than sustaining an injury.  Years ago, a week before I was supposed to depart on a business trip to San Francisco, I slipped on some of baby food that my daughter had splattered on the floor during her lunch.  I torpedoed across the kitchen floor, slammed into the front of the stove, and broke two toes on my left foot.  Six hours later, the ER physician prescribed hefty painkillers and an enormous pair of Doc Martens.  Needless to say, they made a unique impression.  I may have been in a semi-drugged haze most of the time, but I made it through all four days, standing up.

Three years ago, less than ten days before Christmas, in an absolute frenzy to start my shopping, I slipped on the black ice on my driveway and dislocated my right elbow.  The pain of the injury was exquisite, but the agony of knowing that the ridiculous boots I was wearing were in part to blame for the accident was almost as unbearable.  My parents immediately swooped in to my rescue, and as soon as I could get up and around, mum magnanimously offered to purchase me The Ultimate Winter Boots.  She was prepared to spare no expense-- and so she bundled me up and took me on one of her famously generous shopping expeditions.

Helen of Tundra

I alarmed her more than slightly when I asked that she steer the car in the direction of the Stratford Co-op.  I had my eye on something SERIOUS-- the stuff The Professionals wear to deal with Old Man Winter.  By God, I was determined that Nature was never going to mess with ME again...  My mother patiently steered me towards a slightly more "lady-like" store, and we eventually compromised on an enormous pair of Sorels that have become so trusted and beloved, I refer to them by name.

Beloved Birkies

School-teaching also takes a toll on the tootsies, especially if you are (literally) dancing around the younger grades.  During my first year of teaching, in an effort to look as competent as possible to parents and administrators, I adopted a professional "uniform", which included (horror of horrors) a pair of high-heeled shoes, fitted with what I was assured were properly-fitting orthotic supports.   By the time June rolled around, I hurt so badly that I spent the summer months in Birkenstocks, in a desperate attempt to re-adjust the pronation of my feet.

Thankfully, I have come to the conclusion that I am too old for all this nonsense anymore.  It just doesn't matter a damn what my feet LOOK LIKE, so long as they FEEL GOOD.  Now, I'm not saying that I wear trainers with business suits, as did the yuppies of yore...  but when I need new shoes, my criteria pretty much run along the lines of a neutral colour, and a style that doesn't make me shriek when I stand up in them.  I now have about four pairs that I feel relatively good about:  one for running, two for work, and my beloved Birkenstock clogs.

I was therefore caught rather off-guard when my parents gave me a wonderful birthday gift several weeks ago.  They purchased us all tickets to the Opening Night of the Elora Festival, which is one of the most prestigious musical events in Canada.  The night was to be extra-special for all of us, and my father in particular:   Mendelssohn's Elijah was to be sung by the Choir of Trinity College, Cambridge, where my father had proudly attended and graduated from years ago.  As soon as the tickets were purchased, he began rummaging around in his closet for appropriate attire, and emerged with a striped college tie, in distinctively dashing shades of blue.

I began to fret.  What on earth was I going to wear on this auspicious occasion?  The Opening at Elora was certainly a major event...  but it presented a rather fascinating dichotomy.  For, the concerts are held at several different venues in one of the most beautiful little towns in Rural Ontario.  The main venue is actually a converted barn.

The beautiful Gambrel Barn

What the hell does one wear to please oneself AND one's parents, when one is attending a concert by a world-renowned choir in a BARN, on one of the hottest and most humid nights on record? (Needless to say, no air conditioning.  The cows never requested it.)

Well, luckily, I had a dress.  It was a comfortable cotton jersey in a lovely shade of purple-- one of those awesome things that you can just throw on, and because it's cleverly styled, it sort of floats away from your "problem areas" and makes you look respectable.

Sorted.

Now, what the heck to put on my FEET?  Flip-flops were out.  So were the Birks, which were immediately vetoed by my teenage daughter.

Yowza

So.  I reached waaaay back into the depths of my closet, and pulled out a pair of shoes that hadn't seen the light of day for many, many moons.  A pair of trotters that had been purchased for ten dollars at Winner's for a laugh one day, because I couldn't believe they fit, or the fact that I could actually walk in them.  They were velvet, sported three-inch heels and little bows...  and darned if they weren't the exact shade of purple as the dress.

Thankfully, my mother drove us to Elora and back, saving me from having to drive barefoot (there was no WAY I was going to try it in those spikes).  By the time we got there, my feet were hurting already.  Damn that Kate Middleton, I thought, SHE makes it look so EASY...  How the heck does she prance around all the time with a smile on her face?  Granted, her shoes cost more than ten bucks, but even SO...  How dare she make the rest of us feel like we can do it, too?!

We emerged from the car, and I tottered precariously across the parking lot and the gravel road in front of the barn, cursing inwardly with every mincing step.  How could I have been such an idiot?

And then, it started to happen.

"Nice SHOES," commented the woman who took my ticket at the gate.  I giggled feebly, and hobbled forward.  Every couple of steps, a stranger, all of them female, and all of them older than me, made a pleasant remark about my choice of footwear. 

Now, I should explain that this isn't the sort of thing that happens to me very often.  Yes, people comment occasionally, since I usually dress more formally than most other teachers, and certainly, when I've lost my mind and cut all my hair off without warning, as I did one day last spring...  But compliments from people I've never met-- heck, compliments on my appearance from people who are not my PARENTS, who HAVE to say nice things about me, for crying out loud-- are not what I have become accustomed to.  In fact, of late, I have been really wrestling hard to boost up my confidence and self-image.  ("Don't stop working to improve yourself!!" say all the self-help books...)

Yes, my feet hurt like the dickens, but that night, I walked a little taller, and a little more proudly. 

The music was absolutely divine, and sung only as a Cambridge Choir could perform it.  As the sun set through the open barn door and the music raised the roof and spun towards the heavens, tiny insects swirled and glittered like flying jewels in front of the stage lights.  It was pure magic.

My dad loosened his tie, sighing happily as we drifted towards the car when the show was over.

 "How are The Shoes?" he asked me, as he peered UP at me, for a change.

"The Shoes are pretty good," I replied.

I felt younger and lighter than I had in years, in spite of the pinched toes and cramps in my arches.

Yes, sometimes attempting to recapture one's youth is a pain...  but sometimes, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Because dammit, I'm sick of salad.

The Ultimate Chocolate Brownies

3/4 c cocoa powder

1/2 tsp baking soda

2/3 c melted butter, divided

1/2 c boiling water

2 c granulated sugar

2 large eggs

1 1/3 c all purpose flour

1 tsp pure vanilla extract

1/4 tsp salt

1 c chocolate chips... plus more for "garnish"

Heat the oven to 350 degrees.  (As George Carlin points out, pre-heating is illogical:  either your oven is heated, or it isn't.  Right?!)

Grease a 13 x 9 inch pan with butter, and dust it with flour or cocoa, to prevent the brownies from sticking.  (In my experience, they don't stick if you eat them fast enough, so skip this if you're really desperate.)

In a medium-sized bowl, combine the cocoa and baking soda.  Blend in 1/3 c of the butter.  Add the boiling water, and stir until the mixture thickens.  Then, once it has cooled a little, stir in the sugar, the remaining 1/3 c of butter, and the two eggs.  Stir until very smooth.  Add the flour, vanilla and salt, blending everything in completely.  Add 1 c of chocolate chips (or whatever's left after you've eaten most of them), then pour the mixture into the baking pan.

Bake for about 30 minutes, or until the brownies pull away from the edge of the pan.

Let them cool completely before icing-- but be sure to taste a few, just to make sure they are good.

One Bowl Buttercream Icing

6 Tbsp softened butter

1/2 c cocoa powder

2 2/3 c icing sugar

1/3 c heavy cream

1 tsp pure vanilla extract

MORE chocolate chips

In a small bowl, cream the butter.  Blend in the cocoa and icing sugar alternately with the cream, until all the ingredients are combined.  Beat in the vanilla.

Spread this lovely stuff all over the top of the brownies you have left in the pan, and sprinkle generously with MORE chocolate chips.  Don't forget to lick the beaters and scrape the bowls.

What the hell.  I'll walk 20 or 30 extra kilometers tomorrow.

Missing inaction.

This morning, as I do every fine day, I set off for my morning constitutional.

It has been revealed to me, since turning forty several (ahem) years ago, that if one does not make a concerted effort to propel oneself forward in a rapid fashion on a regular basis, certain parts of the female anatomy react most alarmingly to the law of gravity.  Indeed, some parts threaten to fall off altogether.

(My apologies to those who have just eaten, for that visual.)

I'm fortunate enough to have a large, evil-looking black-and-yellow treadmill down in my basement, where my beloved stationary bicycle, (now deceased), used to stand.

I'm even MORE fortunate to live a stone's throw away from a beautiful walking trail, that I can roar around on foot for about three kilometers every day.

Recent studies have shown that walking or running on a treadmill is very good for you, physically.  The same study has shown that walking or running while surrounded by the beauty of nature is not only good for you physically, but mentally, as well. 

I've really needed to walk, these past few weeks.  During the first lap around the pond, I concentrate strictly on the sounds around me:  the birds, the cicadas, my own foot-fall, and my own breath.  I empty my head:  no worries allowed, no "inner noise".

The second round is when some of the "better thinking" gets done.  Amazingly, once I make the effort to push the general annoyances and angst that has consumed most of the night before away from the forefront of my mind, I can actually begin to see reason.  I can begin to fashion greater solutions to problems, and plot positive actions and re-actions, with which to fill my day.




This morning, for instance, I was fuming--  FUMING!!!  --about some silly bit of nonsense I had read on the internet.  The immediate leap into a frustrated attitude so early in the morning, before I had even had my COFFEE, for crying out loud, catapulted me into a state of feeling fit-to-be-tied about a bunch of other things I've been worried about in my own life.

Things, that by round two of the pond, I was luckily able to see in a far less alarming light.

Round three, and I actually finished with a smile on my face, an appreciation for the beauty and tranquility of my surroundings, and a plan of action-- or, as it were, IN-action.

This morning, dear readers, I deleted my Facebook account.  I felt a bit naughty as I pressed the "yes, I'm sure" button, after entering all my security information...  and then, a blessed relief.

This summer, I simply don't NEED to know what everyone else is doing, thinking, or whining about.  I couldn't care less about movie stars, "what's trending", or "who I might know".  I'm abundantly aware of who's kids are cute, and I wouldn't dream of calling someone "friend" who didn't take the trouble to phone me or write me a note to tell me if something earth-shattering had happened to them.  I sold up the Farmville years ago, and all those points that Pieces of Flare kept throwing at me never added up to anything, anyway.

Yes, I'm missing "inaction", although I posted and commented so seldom, that I doubt any of my twenty-five-or-so-called "friends" will miss me at all.  I think my last contribution to the Facebook community had something to do with discovering an effective way to remove the smell of cat vomit from one's entrance hall.  Hey, I thought it was important at the time, and you KNOW how I feel about sharing knowledge...

Well, the Facebook community will just have to get by on their own.

Now.  If anyone needs me, I'll be on my blackberry.

(Everyone knows those damn things don't work, anyway.)

Little Bug(ger)

It's been a lovely, quiet couple of days here, in spite of the fact that summertime is in Full Swing.

For the past several weeks, I've been teaching every morning, then returning to my own throng (usually with a couple of their friends thrown in for good measure), to desperately seek inexpensive activities with which to keep them all occupied and out of jail.

We've visited the library, where the summer reading program is up and running.   We've gone swimming, painted, made jewellery, entertained relatives, taught people how to knit...  Heck, we've even been to see the dreaded Katy Perry movie-- in 3D, no less. 

Party on.

But, BEST of all...  we've been trolling through the local farm country, investigating all the little makeshift roadside stands and tiny markets.  The news is good:  because of our endlessly rainy spring and hot, steamy summer, the crops are early in this part of the world.

It's CORN and BLUEBERRY time, again, people!

The girlies and I drove to beautiful Wilmot Farm in Newcastle, Ontario on Friday afternoon, and had a most glorious time in the fields.  We emerged with four gigantic buckets of doughnut-sized berries(okay...  I exaggerate slightly.  They're actually TIMBIT-sized.  And, for anyone who does not have the good fortune to know the joys of Canadian Timbits, well...  you have my deepest sympathy).  We're rapidly working our way through the fresh berries of the first bucket, and I've frozen the other three, so we'll have lovely muffins and waffles and pies all winter long.

The discovery of the first ears of peaches'n'cream corn came as a most delightful surprise yesterday.  With Child Number One visiting her grandparents in Stratford for a week, and Child Number Two spending a few days at a friend's cottage up North, it's been just Wee Three at home with me this weekend.  We've made the most of our "quiet" time together, and my littlest girl has had almost every one of her heart's desires fulfilled while her sisters have been away.  She deserves it, too, as she's been terrifically helpful to me around the house, pegging out laundry as it has emerged from the washer, cleaning bathrooms, and most significantly:  helping me to acclimatize the newest addition to our family...  My sister's cat, Minnie, has come to stay for a month, much to the chagrin of the felines-in-residence, Mighty Maude and Charlotte.


Last night when I asked what my youngest child would like best for her dinner, the request was for BUTTER TARTS.  And, not just any ol' store-bought butter tart, either: she wanted the ones freshly baked by Mrs. Forsythe, who runs our nearest farmer's market.

We hopped in the loser cruiser, pointed it North...  and within a few minutes, there was the sign, seemingly straight from Heaven, and a good two or three weeks earlier than we are accustomed to seeing it:

Let the Angels sing, and the trumpets sound! 

Later, as we sat on the patio, plates perched on our knees and butter running down our chins, I asked Wee Three how she was enjoying her time as the Only Child in the house.

She took a moment to consider this, before replying.

"Welllll," she said, then took another enormous chomp of corn, and chewed it thoughtfully.  "It's been OKAY, I guess..."

OKAY?!  It's a perfect summer evening, the kid has blueberries, butter tarts AND CORN, and it only rates as OKAY?!!

I managed to temper my reply, however, and prompted her for a little clarification.

"It's kinda boring, actually," she replied, gazing wistfully at me with her big brown eyes.

"There's nobody left here for me to BUG."

Yessir, being the little bugger in this house is a full-time occupation, indeed...

Off to Gramma and Grampa's...

We're heading to Stratford this weekend, and it will be our first trip without my beloved purple fuzzy dice that have long swung from the rear-view mirror of the Loser Cruiser...  They finally gave up the ghost, faded and bedraggled as they were-- a tacky, yet invaluably useful symbol that branded the minivan as MINE in the parking lots filled with identical colours, makes and models.

However, as a little "happy birthday to ME" yesterday, I concocted a new-and-improved embellishment:  meet Tony and Jude, two baaaaad boys who, as the patron saints of lost things and hopeless causes, will hopefully help to steer me in the right direction for a few more years at least.

Drive on!

The Tattler

As a teacher, I can appreciate the fact that a child's tendency to "tell" on classmates displays evidence of achieving a developmental milestone:  not only does that student show an appreciation for social norms, but the student also has equal expectations for the behavior of other children.  The challenge I often face is supporting The Tattler to develop an understanding of the difference between a problem that requires teacher intervention, and one that can be solved by the peers themselves.

As a parent, I find it particularly frustrating when my own offspring display a difficulty in understanding the difference between circumstances that require the intervention of The Almighty Mother, and minor infractions that could be easily resolved by a smidgen of self-regulation.

It's summertime. 

All three girls are home with me, as I desperately attempt to de-tox from what has been one of the most frantic years of my existence.  During this time, my youngest child has apparently decided to take her pre-existing condition of tattle-tale-itis, and hone it into a form of Fine Art.

This?  Is the child whose most frequent tattle runs along the lines of:

"MUM-MEEEEEE...  (insert sister here) just called me a TATTLE-TALE!!!"

Somebody, tell me:  If I stick custom-fitted wax plugs in my ears, and my youngest child narks out her siblings, does it still count as tattling if I can't actually HEAR HER?

Yesterday, as I was slogging away in an overheated kitchen, scraping a layer of solidified crud off of the worktop, Wee Three manifested herself at my elbow:

Mother:  (wearily)  What's up, squirt?

Wee Three:  MUM-MEEEEEEEEE... 

Mother:  (immediately detecting the distinct whiff of Rat-Finkiness)  Yikes!  This doesn't sound good already...  Tell me, Wee one, do I sense a TATTLE coming on?

Wee Three:  (regretfully)  Wellllllll...  yes.

Suddenly, she brightened up, and hopped from one foot to another in what can only be described as evil anticipation:

Wee Three: (gleefully)   BUT...  It's a really GOOD one!

God save the foundation...

School's Out!!!

Fact.

Anything played on the bagpipes makes the perfect playlist for running. 

(Although, you may get some strange looks from passers-by if the volume in your headphones is turned up too loud...)

Happy and Glorious!

Congratulations, Ma'am... 

You make us proud.

And, because I know in my heart-of-hearts that you MUST have a wicked sense of humour in there somewhere (how else could you have done The Job this long???), I humbly offer you a little Jubilee Jewel ... 

my very favourite Q.E.II impersonator.

The unforgettable team of Harvey Corman, Tim Conway

and Her Majesty, Carol Burnett!

Farewell, to The King of All The Wild Things...

“Oh, please don't go—we'll eat you up—we love you so!”

 Maurice Sendak, 1928-2012

Reason number 10,340,000 why my kids are the best.

While browsing through the hardware store...

Me: (practically up off the ground) WOW!! A set of TWO cordless hammer-drills!! Man, I NEED those-- I've always WANTED one of those!! And they're on SALE...

Child Number Two: (grabbing my arm and steering me away) Now, MUM...

Wee Three: (taking the other arm) We're only LOOKING today...

Child Number One: (gleefully) Wait for MOTHER'S DAY!!!

New Beginnings.

I have my answer.

And now, New Beginnings...

I was a good person, years ago, and even though life has changed me in innumerable ways, I will remember that I am still that person inside.

I will remember what has made ME happy in days past-- how it really FELT to be happy-- and strive to put myself in places and situations where I can feel that way again.

I will listen for my own instincts, heed them, and follow them. I will trust myself.

I will be more conscious of my own needs, goals and dreams.

I will continue to teach, but not just in order to "build a career", but because I love what I do. I know that if this thought is at the forefront of my mind as I go forward, I will eventually land in the best possible situation for my girls and me.

I will strive for a stable, peaceful, positive and consistent environment, at all times, and above all else.

We all deserve nothing less.

Happy Easter.

"Good" Friday.

If anybody wants me, I'll be outside re-seeding the back lawn.

Waiting.

Blackbird
written and performed by

The Beatles

Blackbird singing in the dead of night,
Take these broken wings and learn to fly.
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night,
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see.
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free.

Blackbird fly,
blackbird fly,
Into the light of the dark black night!

Blackbird fly,
blackbird fly,
Into the light of the dark black night!

Blackbird singing in the dead of night,
Take these broken wings and learn to fly.
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise.

Welcome, Spring!

"In Spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt."

-

-Margaret Atwood