Things My Parents Taught Me...

• When dining out with your spouse, share one entree.
• Don't be a Wet Blanket.
• Have cats and hamsters, but not at the same time.
• Don't slam doors.
• Take a pair of crummy shoes to wear in case it rains.
• A proper good-bye to guests includes standing on the doorstep and waving.
• Ride a bicycle.
• Keep in touch with relatives, even if you can't stand them.
• Write thank-you notes.
• Don't go to Mexico.
• Feed stray animals and people.
• Support Public Radio.
• Always take a group photo, and don't forget to remove the lens cap.
• Use the vcr, and bleep through the commercials.
• Learn to love opera.
• Carry a small handbag.
• Always know where your glasses are.
• Play the piano, and watch your fingering.
• Keep a bag of bread crusts in the freezer for duck-feeding.
• Pack a tennis ball and a frisbee.
• A capon is just a big chicken.
• Feed birds, foil squirrels.
• Bring your loved ones a cup of tea in bed.
• Put the spare key back when you've finished with it.
• Don't park in the handicap spot, but if you have to, don't forget to limp.