Because dammit, I'm sick of salad.

The Ultimate Chocolate Brownies

3/4 c cocoa powder

1/2 tsp baking soda

2/3 c melted butter, divided

1/2 c boiling water

2 c granulated sugar

2 large eggs

1 1/3 c all purpose flour

1 tsp pure vanilla extract

1/4 tsp salt

1 c chocolate chips... plus more for "garnish"

Heat the oven to 350 degrees.  (As George Carlin points out, pre-heating is illogical:  either your oven is heated, or it isn't.  Right?!)

Grease a 13 x 9 inch pan with butter, and dust it with flour or cocoa, to prevent the brownies from sticking.  (In my experience, they don't stick if you eat them fast enough, so skip this if you're really desperate.)

In a medium-sized bowl, combine the cocoa and baking soda.  Blend in 1/3 c of the butter.  Add the boiling water, and stir until the mixture thickens.  Then, once it has cooled a little, stir in the sugar, the remaining 1/3 c of butter, and the two eggs.  Stir until very smooth.  Add the flour, vanilla and salt, blending everything in completely.  Add 1 c of chocolate chips (or whatever's left after you've eaten most of them), then pour the mixture into the baking pan.

Bake for about 30 minutes, or until the brownies pull away from the edge of the pan.

Let them cool completely before icing-- but be sure to taste a few, just to make sure they are good.

One Bowl Buttercream Icing

6 Tbsp softened butter

1/2 c cocoa powder

2 2/3 c icing sugar

1/3 c heavy cream

1 tsp pure vanilla extract

MORE chocolate chips

In a small bowl, cream the butter.  Blend in the cocoa and icing sugar alternately with the cream, until all the ingredients are combined.  Beat in the vanilla.

Spread this lovely stuff all over the top of the brownies you have left in the pan, and sprinkle generously with MORE chocolate chips.  Don't forget to lick the beaters and scrape the bowls.

What the hell.  I'll walk 20 or 30 extra kilometers tomorrow.