Thursday, January 24, 2008

I could use a little "kiai", myself...

It's been a crazy week in this house.

Compounded by the fact that Child Number Two has earned a Yellow Belt in her karate class.

And while this news is cause for congratulations and tremendous celebration, it has also been the cause of my nervous eye-tick returning. With such a vengeance, in fact, that people are beginning to notice. My husband thinks I'm coming on to him, at strange hours of the day. Luckily, with the stock markets the way they've been, he's just too damn tired to reciprocate... (Is that TMI for a "family blog"?!)

In preparation for her belt awards ceremony, Child Number Two has been practising. Hard.

And I'm not just talking about the various kicks, blocks, and rather alarming jumps (some of them with SPIN ACTION)...

I'm talking about her very favourite part of karate.

You guessed it, the yelling part.

For the past week, I have been violently roused from my slumbers, in the wee hours of the morning:

Child Number Two: (lovingly, but loudly into mother's right ear) "Kiai!!"

Mother: (hair standing on end and teeth chattering) GAAAAA! I'm UP!! I'm UP!!!

I have been sneaked up on:

Child Number Two: (sharply, and gesturing violently towards the desired snack food) "KIAI!!"

Mother: (hitting the ceiling of the kitchen, and dropping the pan of freshly-baked cookies that she is trying to take out of the oven) That's it, NO COOKIES FOR YOU!! Or anybody else, for that matter...

But it's the worst when I'm driving:

Child Number Two: (suddenly screeching) "KIAI!!!!!"

Mother: (slamming on the brakes) CRRRAAAAPPPP!! Child!! How many times to I have to tell you, NO CHOPPING IN THE CAR!! The rest of us are powerless to get away from you when we're strapped into a moving vehicle!!

By yesterday afternoon, I had had enough.

I found one blessed, quiet moment in the day, and asked my feisty six-year-old what, exactly, she has been yelling for the past several weeks... and WHY she has chosen to yell it, sometimes when she isn't even practising her various kicks and blocks.

She replied, with great seriousness, that it is a word that her sensei taught her, that, when yelled, gives her power and energy.

Like she needs any MORE.

Later that evening, I googled the word "kiai", and was interested to find:

In martial arts, the term commonly refers to a short yell that some martial artists shout before or during a fight or technique. Students of martial arts such as aikido, karate, kendo, taekwondo or judo (or related arts such as taiko drumming) use kiai to focus energy when executing a technique.

And I got to thinking... It wouldn't be a bad thing, to have a word to yell, that would help me focus on the task-at-hand, and give me a little extra "jolt"...

The first choice for ME would obviously be "CHOCOLATE!!"

Not bad, and the right number of syllables... But somehow, not quite "sharp" enough...

How about "WHITE WINE!!!" with an evil kind of emphasis on the "WIIIIINE!!" part...

Nah. Better not be yelling about booze in the children's playground.

"BABYSITTER!!" is a bit long, but most certainly fills me with powerful delight.

Wait a minute... Wait just a cotton pickin' minute... I've got it:


Let's try it, shall we?

"High block!! Low block!! Middle block!! BED TIME!!!"

Because whether it's for the kids, or the mum... Those are two of the most powerful words in MY vocabulary...


painted maypole said...

he he he

shawn said...

Yes, "Bed-Time!!!" is a favourite in my world too !!!

The more I hear about Child Number Two, the more I seem to like her ... I have her cosmic twin in this household - only 5 years chronologically older !!!

I raise a glass of "Cat Pee on A Gooseberry Bush" in salute to you and your household tonight !!!

Leeann said...

Or naptime.
Or anytime that involves me being able to pee by myself. :)

shauna said...

Oh, I love. this. post. You made my day by making me laugh. I'm all for the word "Bedtime" (although I like "chocolate" too!). And my son does the same thing and he doesn't even have a sensei! Or a belt. :)

Nan said...

Brilliant! Written like a true harassed genius.

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