Tonight just before dinner, I had a few blessed moments for myself to work on the afghan I've been crocheting. Sensing the moment of weakness in the universe, my two youngest girlies appeared at my elbow:
Child Number Two: Hey, Mum!! We're hungry!! Can we have a couple of chocolate chip cookies for a snack?
Mother: No, Kiddo. Dinner's in fifteen minutes. Sorry it's a little late, we're waiting for your dear old Dad. How about a cracker or two, instead? They're in the red box on the second shelf in the pantry.
Child Number Three: (vehemently) NOPE!! Want COOKIES!! Crackers have no CHOCOLATE in dem!!
I knew something odd was in the works when my second child quickly whipped a hand over her younger sister's mouth, to avoid the tantrum-in-the-works from leaking out. She spun Wee Three around, and headed for the pantry.
Child Number Two: (loudly, and unconvincingly) OKAY, Mum!! Whatever you say!! We'll be having some DELICIOUS CRACKERS for a snack, while we wait for DINNER!! Right, sissy??!
And before Wee Three could protest any more, they nipped around the corner, out of my sight.
I could hear them rummaging around... and the opening of the cookie container, rather than the crackly white packaging that held the saltines.
Mother: (hot on their heels) BUSTED, Kiddo. Get your mitts off the cookies. I said CRACKERS.
Child Number Two: (dropping the cookies like hot stones, and springing for the crackers) Aaaaaaawwwwwwhhh!! I wasn't taking the cookies!! I wouldn't STEAL cookies!! I'm too SMART for that dumb trick!! (crunching thoughtfully, and scowling) If I REALLY wanted cookies, I could get 'em, though...
Mother: (interested) Oh, yeah? How?
Child Number Two: (cheerfully) Well, I'd take the crackers, 'cause that's what I'm S'POSED to do... But then I'd crumble them up, and leave a trail on the floor up to my bedroom.
Mother: (highly doubtful) I don't see how that kind of behavior would get you cookies...
Child Number Two: Yu-HUH!! You'd come looking for me when you saw the mess I made, and when you got to my room, I'd slam the door and lock you in, and THEN get the cookies!!
Mother: (too flabbergasted to speak)
Child Number Two: (swaggering a little) Pretty good, huh?
Damn Hansel and Gretel...