Why Santa Claus Doesn't Drink.

From this morning's newspaper:

Oktoberfest Reveller Stuck in Chimney for 12 Hours

Berlin-- A German man who had been drinking heavily at Munich's Oktoberfest beer festival got stuck in a chimney for 12 hours while trying to climb into a friend's apartment, police said.

After finding his friend was not at home, the 27-year-old climbed onto the roof of a neighbouring building at about 2am last Thursday and headed for what he thought was a gap in the wall between the two houses. He found himself sliding almost 30 meters head first into a chimney, a spokesman for Munich police said. An 82-year-old janitor from the hotel next door eventually heard the man's calls for help and he was rescued at around 2pm by fire brigade officers who knocked a hole into the side of the chimney to liberate him, the spokesman said. He had managed to turn around and had removed his clothes to help him squeeze back up.

"Miraculously, he was only slightly injured in the fall, sustaining just grazes and bruising," police said. The man was taken by helicopter to hospital.

Oh, man. (**wipes tears from eyes**) I would have bought a ticket to see THAT rescue...

Cruel of me to laugh, I know... but the poor guy wasn't actually very badly HURT... I grew up a little too close to Kitchener, Ontario, which is the Oktoberfest Capital of Canada. I am all-too-familiar with the results of a little too much autumnal revelry!

Kitchener's Oktoberfest celebrations were the inspiration for the following magnificent dish, which is another gem from my mother's kitchen. It is hearty and warm and filling, and just right to take the edge off your hunger (or a hangover) on a chilly October evening!

Kitchener Special

3/4 lb large farmer sausages
4 oz wide egg noodles
1/2 c chopped onion
1/2 c chopped celery
1/2 tsp salt
1/8 tsp pepper
1 tsp chili powder
1/2 tsp dry mustard (My favourite is "Keene's")
1/2 tsp white sugar
A 20-oz can of whole tomatoes
1/2 c water
1/2 c grated cheese

Cut up the sausage into 1-inch lengths. Fry slowly in a deep-dish skillet over medium heat, until nicely browned. Drain off all fat in the pan, then add the uncooked noodles, onion and celery. Stir everything up together in the skillet, and then sprinkle the sugar and other spices over the top.

In a bowl, combine the tomatoes (with the juices), water and cheese. Pour this over the sausage and noodles in the skillet, then cover and simmer over low heat for about 30 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add a little more water to the pan, if you think it is necessary during the cooking.

This is lovely with a frosty glass of good, strong German beer...

However...

If you've just been freed, stark-naked and acutely hung-over, after spending 12 hours stuck in a chimney, you might want to stick to iced water.