Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Make the time STOP, already...


Overheard in the Loser Cruiser this afternoon, while driving home from school:

Child Number One: (out-of-the-blue) How old is Hannah?

My eldest child was referring to the amazing teenager who flew in from British Columbia to spend nearly three weeks with us this past summer. She is not only a Mother’s Helper Extraordinaire, and my Mostly Companion every August, but she is also Child Number One’s idol.

Me: Hannah is sixteen. Why do you ask?

Child Number One: Is Hannah allowed to date yet?

Me: I don’t think so… I think that she and her friends go out together in a big group.

Child Number One: When will she be allowed to date?

Me: (wondering where on EARTH this conversation with my eleven-year-old is going) Oh, I really don’t know. Any boy who wanted to go out on a date with Hannah would have to be able to get past Hannah’s dad and his great, big shotgun, first…

Child Number One: Ha, ha. (Innocently…) Mum, when will I be allowed to date??

Me: (absolutely flummoxed… I pause to think for a moment before answering… cautiously…) Is there a boy in school that you are interested in dating?

Child Number One: (suddenly embarrassed) Noooo!!! Eeewww!! I just think... I’m growing up too fast, that’s all…

Me: (thankfully, able to breathe again) You have NO idea how glad I am to hear that… How about we say that you will officially be allowed to date when you turn sixty-nine?

Child Number One: (laughing nervously) Why sixty-nine??

Me: (stopping at a stop sign and resting my forehead on the steering wheel in front of me) Because, all the tough, stubborn little Scottish women in my family live to be about ninety-five, and since I’m twenty-six years older than you, I’m pretty sure I’ll be at LEAST unconscious by then…

9 comments:

Travellor said...

Hannah's dad here... 21 years of age is when Hannah will be allowed to date! Until then, the shells are in the cupboard.

hannah the fantabulous said...

hannah here - tell girlie one that as long as the boy is nice and caring and i approve she can date when she's moved out. =P

painted maypole said...

ha ha ha ha ha

One of MQs godfathers is an award winning pistol shooting policeman. OUr plan was that whenever she started dating he would be sitting in the dining room, surrounded by his numorous awards and plaques, polishing his guns. Alas, we have moved out of the state he lives in. Looks like it's into the cupboard with MQ! ;)

ewe are here said...

I keep telling my husband our boys can date when they're 25. And I will find them each a lovely, nice girl.

My husband's response: Poor boys!

Multi-tasking Mommy said...

I agree with Hannah! Only amazing guys will be allowed to date child #1 AND not for a VERY.LONG.TIME!!!
That story is absolutely HILARIOUS!!!

Candygirlflies said...

Actually, from my own teenage experience, an ivory tower works pretty well... (thanks a lot, Dad).

We're hiring a contractor this morning.

Karly said...

Love your response. Basically, you can date when I'm dead, kid. ;)

Beck said...

My dad owns LOTS OF GUNS. We figure we can just sit him menacingly on the porch when The Girls are 29 and allowed to spend time with members of the opposite sex.

Leeann said...

This is great! I love conversations with kids that you can giggle about later!

 
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