Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Honestly.


A little while ago, I received an email from someone who had been catching up on my blog. She is one of my oldest and dearest friends, and it has been some time since she and I have been able to find the time to sit down and have one of our marathon telephone conversations. Luckily, she is one of those "kindred spirits" that are few-and-far-between: It doesn't matter HOW many months elapse between emails, phone calls or visits, we always seem to be able to just pick up where we left off, and keep right on talking. We might inadvertently miss birthdays (I plead guilty!), anniversaries (GAA!), and the odd Christmas Morning (it was the TIME CHANGE!! Honest!!) but I can't tell you how grateful I feel to know that she'll always be my friend, nomatterwhat.

In this last email, she wrote:

"When I read (your blog) I really want your life. I hope that all you write is really where you are at. It sounds so great, listening for an owl, and watching a big bad bandit eat all the food. My life is so hectic, not a moment to spare. I love the leisure your blog paints...."

While this is an enormous compliment (she is actually quite the writer, herself), the comment got me to thinking... Because, although my blog IS an account of my daily life with the girlies, my friend knows me well enough to know that my daily life is considerably more complicated than the leisurely picture I paint here.

It concerned me slightly that people who do NOT know me in real life might think that this is an entirely "charmed existence", safe from all of the problems and worries that most people have. It's certainly not true.

My husband and I work, and are scrambling to deal with the fall-out of the current economic crisis. We're trying to keep the "family business" afloat, whilst resisting the overwhelming temptation to kill each other in the process... My kids get bored and fight, don't always do as they're asked, outgrow their clothes too quickly, and will ALL need braces... I sometimes struggle with my decision to give up working outside the home, and fear that my brain will be reduced to the consistency of oatmeal and eventually leak out of my ears... There are nights when the mere THOUGHT of cooking something edible for dinner is completely beyond me, and I wind up running to the corner store to buy a box of Kraft Dinner and a package of hot dogs... And to top it all off, yesterday, I discovered a BIG BLACK HAIR growing out from the spot just under my chin.

But, do you know what?

It may not have been a conscious choice not to write extensively about all of the above (and a lot more, I assure you), but I do believe that not writing extensively about all of the "dirty laundry" in my life has been even more therapeutic than "venting". Because writing this blog for the past year-and-a-half has made me examine my daily life, and find the POSITIVE, the FUN, and, most importantly, the FUNNY in it.

There are times, like these past few weeks, when I have not been able to find much inspiration to write at all. Searching out the "good" just seemed to be too much of an effort, with everything else that's been going on around here.

But, thanks to my friend-- and thanks to ALL of you who read, and write back to me with comments and emails-- I'm going to make more of an effort: I'm going to keep trying. Because it is important for me to remember how truly blessed I am, no matter how crazy this life may seem.

And, come to think of it, maybe discovering that big, black chin-hair wasn't quite so tragic, after all... Now, if I could just find those damn tweezers...

7 comments:

painted maypole said...

i found that when I kept a journal i only wrote of the big things, good and bad. i find that with the blog i am better about taking time to record the smaller things, and focus more on the good. the bad things, because they are written for public consumption, get processed differently through the blog, and I think that's helpful. rather than "oh woe is me my life sucks" that I might fall into in a journal, i process through it on a blog, and get support in the meantime

mrinz said...

I agree with you about the positives of NOT writing about the 'down side' of every day life.

Like you I have focused on the positive things to write about - mostly - and it sure does make you examine what there is to be thankful for!

And the black hair(s) - there will be more of them at some stage! Deal with it!

Multi-tasking Mommy said...

I really do enjoy reading your blog! I would still love reading it if you were to share all of the sides of life too though. I like the way you write.

Sometimes it is hard to find that balance! I thik that you really have a talent to see all of the positive in your life.

Remember, at the end of the day, it's your blog and you write how you wish.

Daisy said...

I never really got into journaling until I started the blog. Somehow, knowing it's open to the masses makes me think twice and speak with a certain amount of clarity, and definitely proofread before I post a rant. And yes, the support is priceless!

Nan said...

This is just what I have been going through the past few days: Busy, cross, and trying to keep it together, and since my family and in laws and friends read my blog, I cannot write "AAARGH! Throw all children out on highway and run away to Tahiti!"

Oh, and Sean says he is REALLY going to stop smoking this time. Kill me now!

But I figure that writing about the good things really is therapeutic. It makes me so appreciate what I have. The bad stuff? That's for calling a girlfriend and ranting for ten minutes. You feel better, it blows over, and you don't have this permanent written reminder of angst and torment!

canape said...

A blog is like a window in your house. People can look in and get a glimpse of your living room, but it's only one room of the house.

I love the glimpses you give :)

shauna said...

I appreciate the positive, upbeat nature of your blog. And I've missed reading it of late. It sounds like lots of us might be dealing with economic fallout, and I hope you pass quickly through these difficulties. I also love your blog's tone, and the beauty you describe in your life. It often makes me want to take flight myself and come for a visit. My thoughts are with you, CGF. xoxo

 
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