Thursday, July 5, 2007

The Critters are out to get me...


This is what my Pink Stargazer Lilies SHOULD be looking like today... But alas, in the night last night, a posse of vicious, deviant raccoons attacked the plants. They tore off all the big, beautiful buds that were just about ready to BURST, hauled them all up onto our glass patio table, and tore them to shreds. I've got the footprint evidence to prove it.

To say that I am ticked off about this act of vandalism is a wild understatement... Pink Stargazers are my absolute favourite flowers; I carried them at my wedding, and it gives me tremendous pleasure that I am now able to grow them in my own garden. I was SO looking forward to them blooming again this year. The plants are enormous, and they always seem to open just in time for my birthday.

Tonight, the Goddess is taking matters into her own hands... "The Boys", as we've always called the raccoons, have gone TOO FAR. I have officially HAD IT with their nightly habit of knocking over our garbage cans and scattering the contents hither and yon, no matter what tricks we use to try and thwart them. I am DONE with hosing down the top of my tool shed, in order to eliminate the enormous piles of scat they leave for me every single morning. There will be NO MORE raccoons carousing, feasting on the contents of my garden, and then ceremoniously ralphing in my swimming pool.

They have Crossed The Line!! You can defile my garbage cans, but By God, don't you put a PAW on my lilies...

The Proper Authorities have been called... The humane traps will be set first thing tomorrow morning.

This year, I guess I'll just have to settle for a photograph of stargazer lilies... and the sweet, sweet feeling of REVENGE, as The Boys are carried out of my garden, past the garbage cans, and into the animal control truck.

Enjoy your new life in the countryside, Boys...

And Christ Almighty, they had better not have a "homing" instinct...

5 comments:

SciFi Dad said...

You go girl! ;)

But seriously, it could be worse... my boss had to deal with them nesting in his garage (they could hear them scattering through the walls upstairs!)

Good luck.

Candygirlflies said...

Little feckers...

They're just lucky I called the HUMANE exterminators...

Or better yet, fired up my power tools against them (that would have been the most satisfactory solution, but my husband Stepped In before I could unlock the garage... Rats).

Karly said...

I always heard that anti-freeze will take care of 'em...

Oh, I'm just kidding.

painted maypole said...

I love stargazers as well, carried them at my wedding, too! :) Hopefully next year they'll do better...

ewe are here said...

Ooh, I'd be really ticked off, too!

Little bandits!

 
Web Analytics