Hmmm... Our fifteenth wedding anniversary's coming up...

Masculine, DEFINITELY.

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

"House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa."

"Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz."

A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?"

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun.

Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computadora"), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ("el computador"), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.

And that's just the supplies they need for PRESCHOOL these days...

Today's story-time...

This is the fairy tale that should have been read to us when
we were little:

Once upon a time in a land far away,
a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess
happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues
on the shores of an unpolluted pond, in a verdant meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess' lap
and said:

"Elegant Lady,
I was once a handsome prince,
until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back
into the dapper, young prince that I am
and then, my sweet, we can marry
and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother,
where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes,

bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so. "

That night, as the princess dined sumptuously
on lightly sauteed frog legs seasoned in a white wine

and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself:

"I don't fucking think so."

One for all you ladies out there...

Here, ladies, is a joke I received from a good friend this morning... and it is just TOO FUNNY not to post.

(Gentlemen, you may talk amongst yourselves for a few minutes...)

Ready?! Enjoy:

A woman was leaving a convenience store with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.

A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about fifty feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her, a short distance back, were about two hundred women walking in single file.

The woman couldn't stand her curiosity. She respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know this is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Who's funeral is it?"

"My husband's."

"What happened to him?"

The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him."

She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"

The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her."

A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two women.

"Can I borrow your dog?"

"Get in line."

And now, let us pray:

Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand a man, Love to forgive him, and Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll just beat him to death.

Amen.