Thursday, September 12, 2013

Here There Be Monsters...

Well, it's September, all right.

School is back in full swing, and although it's been just shy of two weeks of frantic routine, my girlies and I appear to be "running on empty" already.  I'm back at work (although, thankfully, NOT in the same ring-of-Hell position I was in last year), and the race is on to balance my life with the needs and routines of my progeny.  

Every morning, we fire out the door in three different directions.  And every afternoon, I drive my weary carcass around town, picking them all up, only to have to muster a Mario Andretti impersonation in order to get them all to their extra-curricular activities in a "punctual fashion".  Bonus points if I have remembered to remind them all to pack the appropriate accoutrements.

The worst day is Tuesday.

There is school and work.  And early band.  And then mid-afternoon band.  Then choir...  I sh*t you not, my bum doesn't leave the car seat between two forty-five, and seven thirty at night.

It's no wonder I'm out of shape--  the servers at all the drive-thru windows in town know us by name.

We call it "Trash Tuesday".

Well, this past Trash Tuesday, we hit a snag in the routine, in the form of a massive traffic jam.  The clock was ticking, but Child Number One and I were in gridlock, while Two and Three languished in their respective school pick-up zone.  Apparently, fifteen minutes in "child time" is officially an Eternity.

When we finally screeched to a halt in front of the gates, two droopy, thoroughly cheezed-off children clambered into the back seat of the Loser Cruiser (who, incidentally, was also rebelling in the form of a flashing "CHECK ENGINE" light...  Traitor.)

I endured the "How COULD YOU???!!" melodramatics for the duration of the drive to the next stop.  And as soon as I could safely unbuckle my seat belt, turn around and blast the little ingrates till their hair blew back from their foreheads, I did just that.

When I was finished, there was an uneasy silence.

That is, until Wee Three piped up:

"Oh YEAH??  
Well, it's YOUR FAULT for taking us to school this morning in the first place!!"

That's "Blame The Mother", folks.

My kids have it down to a science.

1 comment:

Nan Sheppard said...

On a positive note, we've realised that Tuesday is often 'special deal' or 'two for one' at many fast-food joints! Apparently it's a slow night. Could be it's the same near you?

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