As you can tell, I've been at a loss for words for the past few weeks... All too much energy is being expended upon my work-- it is INTENSE, and I never seem to stop talking!! By the time I get finished doing all the things I need to do in a day, I am SPENT, people. And I can't seem to muster the energy to put words down in this space, on a regular enough basis.
And so, imagine my RELIEF to run across good ol' James Lipton (and his blinding, bald pate) on television this afternoon, as I was flipping through channels during one of my breaks. James is annoying, there's no denying that-- but he also asks great questions.
Questions like THESE, which he uses regularly on one of my favourite tv programs, “Inside the Actors Studio”. Since I will NEVER be invited to respond to these questions at any other point in my life, I figured that this would be as good as an excuse as any!!
Forgive me, dear readers... Ok, James, let 'er rip:
1. What is your favorite word?
Oh, I've got a million of 'em... Most of them made up by my kids.
"Squibbet" is a food measurement, as in, "Just eat one more tiny squibbet, and then you may be excused".
"Bralella" is what we call umbrellas around here, and originates from Child Number One's babyhood. I just think it sounds better.
One of my favourite words of all time is "jolly". Not used nearly enough any more, but used liberally by my English Granny, who personified the word during her prime.
One of my favourite not-so-nice words is actually a medical term. "Petechiae" (pet-eek-ee-eye) are pinpoint flat round red spots under the skin surface caused by intradermal hemorrhage (bleeding into the skin). Ew. But, you can't deny it-- if you didn't know what it meant, the word would sound... well, JOLLY, don't you think???!
(Rats. That was more than one word. But I'm an English Specialist, so sue me...)
2. What is your least favorite word?
"LIKE". This word is sprinkled into people's dialogue, as one would sprinkle far too much salt onto food. Both can be fatal. Too much salt will cause kidney failure. And if you utter the word "like" in my presence more than twice in a sentence, I will kill you. "Like" is overused, INCORRECTLY, and carries absolutely no meaning whatsoever.
3. What turns you on?
I am turned on by people who exhibit a sense of what others need, and then do their utmost to provide it. I am impressed, not with martyr-like selflessness, but with people who have an intuitive sense of caring. Of thoughtfulness. Of generosity-of-spirit.
Why is it that it feels like those people are becoming more and more hard to find?
4. What turns you off?
I am turned off by disrespect. By people who think they are too "good", or too "fine". By show-offs. By selfishness. By mean-spiritedness.
5. What sound do you love?
A lawnmower humming in the distance.
6. What sound do you hate?
I hate it when more than one piece of electrical equipment is squawking away in my home at the same time. If one person has the radio going, and another person has the television on, the resulting cacophony is enough to drive me to drink.
7. What is your favorite curse word?
Ooooh. WAY too hard a question. I curse like a stevedore, loudly and fluently. I am a master orator of all blasphemy, and have been known to let fly in several different languages.
To give the shortest (and safest) answer, let's just say that I really enjoy listening to George Carlin's "Words You Can't Say on Television" skit, and leave it at that, shall we?
8. What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?
I would love to be a family lawyer, and fight for the rights of children in difficult divorce cases. All too often, divorcing spouses use children as pawns, or get so wound up in their own emotional angst, they don't allow their children to have a "voice" in the proceedings. To my mind, there is nothing more important in a divorce situation than to put the children FIRST. I would like to help parents and children to make this possible.
9. What profession would you not like to do?
I would not like to work in the financial industry. Ever. Again.
10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?
"FINALLY!! Everybody's been waiting for you."