Sunday, October 18, 2009

It's aaaaallllll about me(me).

As you can tell, I've been at a loss for words for the past few weeks... All too much energy is being expended upon my work-- it is INTENSE, and I never seem to stop talking!! By the time I get finished doing all the things I need to do in a day, I am SPENT, people. And I can't seem to muster the energy to put words down in this space, on a regular enough basis.

And so, imagine my RELIEF to run across good ol' James Lipton (and his blinding, bald pate) on television this afternoon, as I was flipping through channels during one of my breaks. James is annoying, there's no denying that-- but he also asks great questions.

Questions like THESE, which he uses regularly on one of my favourite tv programs, “Inside the Actors Studio”. Since I will NEVER be invited to respond to these questions at any other point in my life, I figured that this would be as good as an excuse as any!!

Forgive me, dear readers... Ok, James, let 'er rip:

1. What is your favorite word?

Oh, I've got a million of 'em... Most of them made up by my kids.

"Squibbet" is a food measurement, as in, "Just eat one more tiny squibbet, and then you may be excused".

"Bralella" is what we call umbrellas around here, and originates from Child Number One's babyhood. I just think it sounds better.

One of my favourite words of all time is "jolly". Not used nearly enough any more, but used liberally by my English Granny, who personified the word during her prime.

One of my favourite not-so-nice words is actually a medical term. "Petechiae" (pet-eek-ee-eye) are pinpoint flat round red spots under the skin surface caused by intradermal hemorrhage (bleeding into the skin). Ew. But, you can't deny it-- if you didn't know what it meant, the word would sound... well, JOLLY, don't you think???!

(Rats. That was more than one word. But I'm an English Specialist, so sue me...)

2. What is your least favorite word?

"LIKE". This word is sprinkled into people's dialogue, as one would sprinkle far too much salt onto food. Both can be fatal. Too much salt will cause kidney failure. And if you utter the word "like" in my presence more than twice in a sentence, I will kill you. "Like" is overused, INCORRECTLY, and carries absolutely no meaning whatsoever.

3. What turns you on?

I am turned on by people who exhibit a sense of what others need, and then do their utmost to provide it. I am impressed, not with martyr-like selflessness, but with people who have an intuitive sense of caring. Of thoughtfulness. Of generosity-of-spirit.

Why is it that it feels like those people are becoming more and more hard to find?

4. What turns you off?

I am turned off by disrespect. By people who think they are too "good", or too "fine". By show-offs. By selfishness. By mean-spiritedness.

5. What sound do you love?

A lawnmower humming in the distance.

6. What sound do you hate?

I hate it when more than one piece of electrical equipment is squawking away in my home at the same time. If one person has the radio going, and another person has the television on, the resulting cacophony is enough to drive me to drink.

7. What is your favorite curse word?

Ooooh. WAY too hard a question. I curse like a stevedore, loudly and fluently. I am a master orator of all blasphemy, and have been known to let fly in several different languages.

To give the shortest (and safest) answer, let's just say that I really enjoy listening to George Carlin's "Words You Can't Say on Television" skit, and leave it at that, shall we?

8. What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?

I would love to be a family lawyer, and fight for the rights of children in difficult divorce cases. All too often, divorcing spouses use children as pawns, or get so wound up in their own emotional angst, they don't allow their children to have a "voice" in the proceedings. To my mind, there is nothing more important in a divorce situation than to put the children FIRST. I would like to help parents and children to make this possible.

9. What profession would you not like to do?

I would not like to work in the financial industry. Ever. Again.

10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?

"FINALLY!! Everybody's been waiting for you."


painted maypole said...

love that last answer. I may steal this meme. I love Inside the Actor's Studio too, when I think to watch it. ;)

Suzanne said...

Love the petechiae bit. My DD has been gettin petechial rashes and it's always a word I have fun with (well, not when it's actually on my girl but you know what I mean).

Thanks for the intro to George Carlin, it was much enjoyed.

I'm always glad to see you post and look forward to hearing more about what you're studying.

merinz said...

Welcome back - and what an interesting post. I agree with you on many points.

I love your childrens words, words that become a family language. Our grandchildren call their grandparents on the maternal side - Baggit and Dummo which are childhood words of my daughter-in-laws family. As twins she and her sister had many alternative words, a language and code of their own.

Nan said...

Great post! How about the word "nice"? The boys and I were talking about how you can say "Than's nice", and mean the opposite. I don't like the word nice.

Leeann said...

This is wonderful! I really like this! ya doing? We haven't crossed paths lately... :)

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