Fact: There is nothing in this world-- NOTHING-- so therapeutic and good for the restoration of my weary soul than BRUTALLY RIPPING OUT horrible, overgrown, and generally monstrous hedges from the neglected parts of my garden, and then taming the space into beautiful submission.
Fact: The Wise Men at our local hardware store will still NOT, under any circumstances, sell me a chain saw. Not even a small one, not for any amount of money (even though I really couldn't afford to bribe them, and they knew it).
Fiction: The telescoping pole with the big snipper on the end that they DID sell me makes a good (read: SAFER) substitute for the aforementioned coveted chain saw.
Fact: I found the axe that my husband hid on me LAST year, and then did the job anyway.
Fact: I think I strained my Everything, I need a pedicure, a long, hot bath, and probably a psychological evaluation.
Fact: Our front gardens will soon look AWESOME.
If I do say so myself.