Friday, February 29, 2008
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Friday, February 22, 2008
It's hard to believe that this lovely microscopic little GERM, known as The Rhinovirus, AKA The Common Cold, has been contributing on such a huge scale to the general frustration of my last few days.
How can something that looks so innocent... so sweet... so attractive, in a "twinkly" sort of way, be capable of rendering me a sweaty, stuffed-up, highly-aggravated ball of misery???
Ah, well... it's the natural order of things, I suppose. The girlies have all had this lovely little virus, and now, I suppose it's only "fair" that the woman who selflessly cancelled entire days, stayed up nights, and patiently nursed them back to health should be stricken by a bug at least ten times the magnitude of the one that infected The Little People.
Am I right? (And feel free to translate that last sentence to read: "Am I BITTER???")
About the only positive thing that's come out of all this has been the extent to which my wrath was worked up over the computer issues we've been having for the past few days. By the end of yesterday, after the SECOND technician from Bell wafted through my home, checked our entire internet system, and pronounced "NOTHING" wrong with it... I was in just the PERFECT sort of mood to get back on the horn to Head Office. I've demanded replacement parts for every, single piece of equipment that they have available to me.
And, if the next technical twit DARES to cross my threshold missing one, single piece of the equipment that I have specifically "requested", I've decided to get back at them with the most EVIL revenge I can possibly think of...
I'll cough straight into his face... And then, I'll kiss him.
Take THAT, Bell Sympatico!
At long, friggin' last, MY problems will finally become YOUR problems!!!
Unfortunately, I'm not quite up to accepting her challenge of creating an entire list of songs to accompany my daily activities at this particular time... But I'll certainly noodle over it during the weekend, and hope to have a list for you early next week!
In the meantime, I offer up a hilarious clip taken from one of my favourite radio shows... It's up over there on the top of the side-bar.
Posted by Candygirlflies at 10:12 AM
Thursday, February 21, 2008
I want to let forth a stream of true-blue blasphemy so creative and intricately detailed that it would make Satan himself cover his pointy little ears and run screaming from the vicinity.
For the past two days, my internet connection has been fading in and out, without any apparent cause or warning. Countless emails have been bouncing. My husband and I have been rendered incapable of working from home with any degree of efficiency. Entire blog posts-- which were moving and inspired and nothing short of BRILLIANT, I assure you (and yet, have no proof of that fact)-- were sent spinning out into the ether, lost forever.
I have spent countless hours on the telephone, consulting with various technicians and trouble-shooters, and have been completely unable to convince them that the problem could possibly lie with anything other than ME: MY equipment (which is fairly new, really), MY set-up, MY passwords...
Yesterday, after eight hours of hanging around the house and WAITING, a representative from Bell finally deigned to darken my doorstep. After spending about ten minutes examining the telephone lines and the internet hook-up, he shrugged his shoulders, began scribbling a note on his clip-board, and announced that his "buddy" would be around to check out the issue "tomorrow".
And then he left.
This morning, with what little signal I can coax out of my modem, I desperately dialled up this video clip from good ol' Ronnie James. And, as he always does whenever he rolls into town and gets up a show at our local theatre, he made me laugh. He made me feel better. He made me feel "normal" again.
Thanks, Ron... you've spared my readers from seeing the "darker side" of my usually fairly cheerful and optomistic personality...
I'm saving THAT for the poor sod of a technician who is due to arrive at any moment.
Because unfortunately for HIM, I don't speek "Geek".
I am, however, completely fluent in Stevedore....
Posted by Candygirlflies at 9:02 AM
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
C. was surprised... And then, so was I. For, as it turns out, it is not "my day" to do the lunch run. Because, as it turns out, it's not Monday.
See what happens when the premier of the province goes and magnanimously gives us a new long-weekend, in a wild attempt to win an election... er, um... I mean... make the month of February easier for us to bear?
He winds up messing with our heads, that's what.
That's not to say I didn't NEED the extra day tacked on to my weekend. For it was a busy one, I'll tell you. And while we bucked the rules and didn't actually wind up using the new so-called "Family Day" to rest and relax, we sure needed it to fit in all the festivities that went on around here. We were partying hard.
Child Number Two turned seven yesterday.
Can you believe it? Because I sure can't. And I'm not just talking about the bewilderment I feel about the fact that she hasn't yet managed to "do herself in" during this fairly lengthy period of time... Lord knows she's tried. And a few times, she's nearly taken ME along with her...
She was a troublesome little squirt long before she was even BORN (go figure). It took me several angst-filled years to become pregnant with our much longed-for second child. By that point, I was not as disgruntled and put-out as some women might feel, when the doctor ordered several months of complete bed-rest, in order to "hang on to her", as my grandmother put it. We often spoke on the telephone during those long weeks I spent on the couch. For she understood what I was up against, having lost several pregnancies, and most tragically, one infant daughter, herself. An old-school nurse of tough, Scottish up-bringing, she would jolly me through every conversation, and then sign off by saying:
"Now, you just keep your legs crossed, with your feet up above your waist, and HANG ON TO THAT BABY!"
And so, I did. I didn't dare disobey her.
My second child came into the world the same way she lives life. At top-speed, and with an element of surprise.
My o.b. finally conceded to my wish to be induced, rather than have a planned c-section. The agreement was that one whiff of a complication would send us straight to the O.R., which was booked and ready to go.
We didn't even have a chance to ponder any potential problems however, because not five minutes after they hooked me up to the IV, Child Number Two made it known that she was ready to make an appearance. How many women do YOU know who go in for an induction, and have a babe-in-arms in under half an hour?
She took 25 minutes. Two pushes.
And she's been going full-steam-ahead ever since, my tiny, yet mighty Number Two.
This was the child who was hungry every hour on the hour, for at least the first six months of her life. She would go from being a content, sleeping angel in my arms, to being a red-faced, screaming five-alarm siren, with no moods in between. My eldest daughter was the one who finally suggested that we try her with a soother-- wise girl already at the tender age of five-- and it was she who dubbed it "The Plug". When The Plug was in place, all was right with the world, but if you dared take it out... well, all hell broke loose, quite frankly.
It wasn't long before our tiny baby was up on her hands and knees and crawling like a demon, far faster than I could run after her. At nine months, she pushed herself up on her two little legs, without even hanging on to a piece of furniture, and walked straight under our kitchen table. She was so small of stature, she didn't even need to duck her head.
Life changed quickly after that. Average "baby-proofing" was NOTHING to our little techno-whiz. So called "child locks" had nothing on her. She unhooked the toilet seat clamp that even I had trouble figuring out, and dropped the cordless phones down the loo, one by one. She had mastered the point-and-click function of a computer mouse before she turned two, and we nervously half-joked about her hacking in to National Security. She comprehended language, and talked early. Woe betide anyone who let fly with a blasphemous expletive within her extensive range-of-hearing, because the little steel-trap of a mind would remember it, and file it under "For Future Use... Try In Front of Grandma".
She inherited her mother's obsession for power tools. The year she turned two, she drove the builders who spent months with us renovating our kitchen to DISTRACTION... They eventually had to come to an agreement with her: if she would stay OUT of the construction site while they were working, she could go in and have tea or coffee with them at break-time. Bang-on eleven and three o'clock, she would swagger through the door, sporting her little Bob The Builder tool belt, hard hat, with a mind-full of questions... More often than not, she would demand a demonstration of all the tools capable of doing MAJOR damage, and, to my dismay, the men were only too delighted to oblige...
Yep, she's stopped my heart more than a few times, all right. She's lept out of windows, and into large bodies of water... she has nearly succeeded in stealing my car... And the nurses in triage at the local hospital "high-five" us each time we present our "frequent stitches card" at the emergency room...
But, she has warmed my heart, too. And filled it up to overflowing.
In spite of her mischief and mayhem, my second child has a nurturing, empathetic, loving side to her big personality that overwhelms everything else.
She was the most thrilled of all of us, upon the birth of Wee Three, and "mothered" that baby as though it were her own. She got up at night-time as often as I would allow her, to "keep us company" during the midnight feeds. The image of her soothing her tiny sister's cries, patting her little hands and cooing to her, is still enough to move me to tears.
Her compassion and warmth extends well beyond the family, too, and she is a good friend to her classmates at school, as well as being an enthusiastic and consciencious student.
She is growing up to be quite a little Person, I tell you. And I'm proud of every, single inch of her.
Proud to be her mum.
Even when she's busy earning her nick-name,"Twister", and driving us all to the brink of madness. Because out of the madness, comes a merriment... a joy I never knew could exist until the moment I gazed into those dear little shoe-button eyes of hers.
As you once wrote to me:
Posted by Candygirlflies at 1:54 PM
Friday, February 15, 2008
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Specifically, men who complain about the stress and pressure and nerves they feel before Valentine's Day... Where to go? What to do? And what to SAY to their beloved, on this most "loving" Day-of-Days???
Sift together in a large bowl:
2 c all purpose flour
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 c granulated sugar
1 tsp ginger
1 tsp cinnamon
Add to it:
1/2 c shortening
3/4 c molasses
Beat with the electric mixer for two minutes at medium speed, or 300 strokes by hand.
Then, add 1 c boiling water, and beat for an additional two minutes. Turn the batter into a greased, 8-inch square cake pan.
Bake at 350 degrees for 50-55 minutes, or until the cake springs back when lightly touched.
Like most women, I have always loved Valentine's Day. I love it even MORE, now that I have children of my own to enjoy it with.
That said... If my dear husband is reading:
This year, if you will come home and CLEAN UP THE UNHOLY MESS IN THE KITCHEN for me tonight, you are officially "off-the-hook" tomorrow!!
(But come to think of it, going shopping would probably be much, much easier... Rats...)
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Last night, my husband and I flopped down on the couch to watch an episode of our favourite television show, the medical drama, "House".
To say that I love this program would be a wild understatement... Not only is the acting superb (those of you who "know" me know about my unbridled lust... er, um... my PROFESSIONAL ADMIRATION... for the incomparable Hugh Laurie), but the scripts and story lines are witty and brilliantly written, even if they are more than slightly far-fetched most of the time.
Last night's plot was a doozie, let me tell you. In a nutshell: a highly attractive sick woman, who is working as a scientist in a remote polar location, requires Dr. House's diagnostic expertise. The trick is, House has to diagnose and treat her via video-telephone communication.
Near the end of the hour, the woman dramatically loses consciousness, and Dr. House enlists the assistance of the only other person on the other end of the video-phone: the woman's male co-worker. House instructs the young man to perform several tests, in a last-ditch attempt to pin down the exact cause of the woman's symptoms. All of the procedures turn out to be relatively invasive, and (to a non-medical professional) rather revolting. But, to his credit, the young man follows the instructions without flinching. The worst of his tasks involves him having to drill a small hole in the woman's skull, to drain excess fluid, and therefore relieving the pressure on her brain... Amazingly, he is able to do it.
From all of this, Dr House is able to deduce that the young man is head-over-heels-in-love with the patient. And then, of course, the woman regains consciousness, they are able to diagnose and treat her health problem in the blink of an eye, and everyone lives happily-ever-after.
Except House, of course, but then, House's inability to find any personal happiness is the foundation for the entire program.
Once the credits had rolled ("That's Some Bad Hat, Harry!!"), and we had pressed the "mute" button to eliminate the racket of commercials, I turned to my spouse:
Me: (still wide-eyed with admiration) Wow. That was really something. It must take some kind of love to be able to drill through the object of your affection's skull...
Him: (still grossed-out, and not wanting to enter this particular conversation) Yup.
Me: (sweetly) Would YOU be able to save MY life like that???
Him: (rolling his eyes heavenward) Oh.... ABSOLUTELY, sweetie. You KNOW I would.
Me: (smiling broadly, and not believing him for a single second) Oh, so would I... I'd drill a hole in your skull anytime.
Him: (eyeing me evil-ly) Yeah, right. I KNOW you would. Trouble is, you'd probably enjoy it so much, you wouldn't stop till you'd drilled right through to the OTHER SIDE.
Posted by Candygirlflies at 9:15 AM
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Friday, February 8, 2008
Posted by Candygirlflies at 1:34 PM
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
I take mine straight up, with two olives, please.
Posted by Candygirlflies at 9:41 PM
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Posted by Candygirlflies at 10:31 AM
Saturday, February 2, 2008
--Holden Caulfield in Chapter One of
This morning, after our trip to the Farmer's Market, the girlies and I strolled over to the Parks Board building down on Morenz Drive, which is located down near the Avon River. In behind the building, there is a special enclosure that has been designed for the Wintertime Happiness of our beloved local swan population:
One of the two Black Swans...
And two of the NOISIEST geese "guests"...
In late-autumn each year, our swans are carefully "rounded up" and brought to their specially designed winter abode. They have a warm barn in which to nest and keep warm, and full access to an outdoor enclosure, which boasts a "heated" pond. The water is never allowed to freeze over, and so many ducks and geese choose to join their friends in the enclosure during the winter months. Let me tell you, the noise they all made today made it seem like one gigantic pool party-- there was certainly a LOT of quacking and honking, flapping and splashing going on, which sent the girlies into fits of giggles.
Posted by Candygirlflies at 2:01 PM
Friday, February 1, 2008
6. Fart: The Game. We'll be playing this one tomorrow afternoon. Want to know why? Well, I'll tell you anyway. I just received a telephone call from some friends who live around the corner. Tomorrow is Stratford's annual "Heartburn Day" Chili Cook-Off, and they are entering their favourite recipe. The girlies and I have been invited to the competition, where we'll be able to sample over 40 different chilis, and vote for the one we like the best. There will be children's entertainment, a "silent" auction (well, as silent as it can be with a room full of people eating beans), and all proceeds will go to the Canadian Heart and Stroke Foundation. Man, the things I do for charity. Pass the Zantac...
Posted by Candygirlflies at 1:37 PM